Pretty good for first time.
My thoughts are:
1. Lower the volume on the music
2. Lock the white balance
3. I know it can be hard to pick what to cut but shorter is better. Hardest thing for me, but it gets easier with time.
4. Still at beginning was to long
5. As stated Some of the gimbal movement was to fast.
6. Not sure what frame rate you used but something like this that you will play in real time and want to look smooth use a lower frame rate. 24 or 30
I have some links to some great video tips on my site here:
We have the best camera drones. Hobbyist to pro we have your drone
I hope this helps.
I think you are off to a great start.
Mike